At the beginning of this year, I took on the challenge to read the Book of Mormon again. I have done this a handful of times already, but this year I knew I needed to learn something new. Something that would transform how I viewed myself, God and others. So as I prayed on what to focus on I received a prompting to highlight things in this manner:
Yellow: Grace of the Lord or Revelation given (How did the Lord enter into their stories?)
Red: What act of faith did the person take?
Purple: Warnings
This past week I finished this exercise and reading of the Book of Mormon. As I thumbed through my markings, I felt this urge to write everything down of what I learned. And then as I started to do this I immediately felt overwhelmed. No, Cassie I thought to myself, this is not what you learned and you know that. So for a couple more days I kept pondering this. My heart turned to this past year and the many heartaches I had. I couldn't help but recognize how Heavenly Father showed me His tender mercies not just daily and not just hourly but by minute to minute. What I learned was that His tender mercies came daily because I had learned to recognize His love for me. He sends his grace and love to us despite anything we choose.
He literally opened my eyes to see His love for me. And that right there is what sustained me. Feeling His love for me daily through all the things literally surrounding me the - seen and the not seen. Even those things that cannot be explained. Because when you feel that love your eyes start seeing His tender mercies more clearly. Seeing God provide grace in the lives of the people in the Book of Mormon opened my eyes to see what He has been doing for me all along.
The Book of Mormon begins with this declaration:
1 Nephi 1:20 "I Nephi, will show unto you the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen because of their faith to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance."
And ends with these statements:
Moroni 10:3 "Remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men."
Moroni 10:7 "And ye may know that he is, by the power of the Holy Ghost; wherefore I would exhort you that ye deny not the power of God; for he worketh by power, according to the faith of the children of men, the same today and tomorrow and forever."
Elder David A. Bednar taught about tender mercies. He had just been called to serve in the Quorum of the 12 and was feeling the weight of the calling. The hymn selection had been chosen in advance without any of his input. It was his favorite. Elder Bednar said: "My mind was drawn immediately to Nephi's phrase 'The tender mercies of the Lord.' And I knew in that very moment I was experiencing just such a tender mercy. A loving Savior was sending me a most personal and timely message of comfort and reassurance through a hymn selected weeks previously. Some may count this experience as simply a nice coincidence, but I testify that the tender mercies of the Lord are real and that they do not occur randomly or merely by coincidence. Often, the Lord's timing of his tender mercies helps us both to discern and acknowledge them." Tender Mercies-Bednar
I cannot obviously recount all of the tender mercies I received, but here are some of them He helped me see:
-A call from a friend when I just needed to talk but didn't want to a burden and weigh anyone down. And invitations to just take a walk and have an opportunity to feel love from another woman.
- The unplanned opportunity to see my sister in-person back last summer just days before her health would take a great downfall.
-The sheer miracle of my sister surviving 8 more months after a complete bilateral aortic dissection.
-A thoughtful neighbor of sharing her flowers. That small act of love helped me see that there was still beauty in the world to still enjoy. And that same neighbor that helped me feel connection and sisterhood-something I had been praying for.
- The Monday before my sister passed away I so happened to be reading in Alma 40-42. I literally feasted on these verses on the Plan of Salvation. My heart filled with joy so indescribably of the love our Savior has for us to give His life for all of us. It wasn't just the verses I was reading the feeling of the Holy Ghost settling on my heart that this life is not the end. There will be a joyous reunion with my sister again. These truths I learned and felt were true sustained me when just 2 days later my sister would be taken home. We didn't know when her time was, but God knew and He prepared me for that.
- A lesson I felt and learned from a friend that was vulnerable enough to reach out and to help me remember the covenant we made with each other at baptism to mourn with those that mourn and comfort those that stand in need of comfort. It was a reminder I needed to let others in and be with me in my sadness.
-Countless times my boys have said something or just given me hugs and kisses. They have shown me countless tender mercies. Their pure spirits have strengthened me in so many ways.
-The countless prayers I offered to God and He literally spoke to my heart and my spirit the exact thing I needed to hear to get me through that moment. I have learned to lean on this daily.
To conclude my thoughts, yes this year has not gone as planned for any of us. But what growth and what tender mercies did God show you? There have been times in my life where I have felt blinded to seeing God's goodness. Not that they weren't there--they were--I just let my situation and my heartache cloud myself from feeling His perfect love. I can now say, I feel God's love more often in an empowering and filling manner. I also see his grace more often in my life. Over the past two years, I have read the New Testament and Book of Mormon completely. I cannot adequately explain how much the scriptures have strengthened me and expanded my vision of my purpose here on earth.
