Meet my boys!

Ethan And Asher

These 2 little guys...I Love Em! They make me laugh...they make me cry....they make me be over filled with joy.....they make me want to scream....they humble me.....and they also make me prideful (in a good way)...they make me paranoid......they make me pray harder than I ever have my whole life.......they drive me nuts....they help me to love and be patient. They are perfect little angels that teach this imperfect mother how to grow and be stronger. I am honored to be there mother. Would you like to meet these 2 little angels??

Ethan:

Well this picture says it all. Ethan loves to pick his own clothes, shoes, and accessories out. He loves hat's, the color blue.... he has to have his blue cup, blue bowl, blue car, anything that's blue he claims is "mine." His all time favorite shirt is his "airplane" shirt...honestly I think Michael had a talking with and convinced him that planes was the coolest thing ever.  His favorite foods are cheese, milk, apple sauce, smoothies, and his Flintstones vitamin gummie...surprisingly real gummies don't cut it.  Ethan loves to keep things clean like his daddy. He is very much a routine kid. Come home, put shoes and jacket in closet and then proceed to do other things....I give kudos to dad for teaching him that. He is always taking my shoes and putting them away. He loves helping out with the laundry and cooking in the kitchen. Recently he has LOVED reading books. Which makes me happy cause I get to teach him more words everyday.

(He loves me laying on his tiny bed and reading him stories, makes me feel special.)

(his blue cars all lined up)

He is a complete goof ball. He teases me when we play soccer outside...kicking the ball after asking me to. He loves tickling our toes till it drives us nuts. 

Since he was a baby everyone always noticed how observant he is. He always analyzed things and studied them out before trying anything new. He is keenly aware of others needs. He is super sensitive to others feelings and always tries to help out if he knows how to. When I cry he always comes over to give me a hug and kiss and makes sure I am ok. 

He loves his little brother. They love to do just about everything together. Ethan will always help me out when I ask him to get me something while taking care of Asher. I often find Ethan smothering Asher with hugs just because. I also find him taking toys Asher has quite often....but you always seem to find something else to give in replace even when brother just doesn't want that new toy. 

Ethan's facial expressions are so over dramatic. I love how he can tell me a story just by the expressions he is giving. If he could live outside I think he would, I mean what boy wouldn't.

Ethan being my first child has taught me diligence, consistency, and patience. He has taught me to give whole heartily my time and energy. He has taught me how to control my anger when things are not going how i want them to. Ethan helped me feel important and needed. He helped me see how much I can love and in respects how much my Heavenly Father loves me. He helps me remember how important it is to take care of my spiritual health. His seriousness helps me remember to never take for granted my relationship with my Heavenly Father.

Asher:

 

This is my boy Asher. This picture makes me smile. This boy makes me smile. What can I say this boy ALWAYS HAS A SMILE to share with you. He and his brother both have contagious laughs. Asher is a card. He likes to play. He LOVES to climb.

 He loves to do anything big brother can whether mom is ok with that or not. He is constantly stealing Ethan's sippy cups and drinking everything in it. My favorite lately is him climbing on something he probably should not be on and then standing and balancing himself on it and patting his chest like a gorilla. Kinda telling me, "ya mom I am the king of the hill." 

He LOVES forks!!!! Yikes I know but he always finds them or brother gets them for him. Asher still plugging away at only 2 teeth is a bit of a hand full to feed. He is picky about what he does want but when he does eat its never the same thing he chows down on except for cheese. Asher is definitely an explorer. If the baby gate is not up or door shut to the bathroom he is gone. And he is fast! This boy I am banking on our er visits will be mostly from him. He is tough though. When he falls its split second and he is off to the next thing without even a cry. His personality is very stubborn though. Which can be good and bad as you use it wisely. I think its a cute thing, when he does get mad he usually throws himself on the floor... if we are holding him he throws himself back. Hold on when that happens!

Asher has shown me how to be happy in the small things this life gives us. He has helped me see the joy each new day can bring. Asher has taught me that if I don't take care of myself first I will not have the energy to do my best to take care of him. I have to make my health important. He has taught me to be flexible with my schedule and be ok if he doesn't want to eat right now or sleep right now even if that's the time I want him to do it. Asher has taught me how to love who I am despite my weaknesses. His laugh and smile is the driving force that makes me want to give it another 'go' today.

Better than a Hallelujah

  Tomorrow is the last day of 2013 and I seriously have mixed emotions about this passed year. I had a lot of expectations and dreams. Some of which happened and some that just plain old got halted to a stop. I looked at my goals I wanted to accomplish and I really was on track at achieving them and then life happened. The epic doom of mortality. I have spent the passed 4 years supporting my husband in school and finally it was my time to do a little for myself. And then when I was at my peak, BAM! Here's another trial! I know many people go through this. I just have been needing to vent a little. Its hard talking to people about your struggles so I guess I am using this blog right now to help me emotionally heal by writing it out.
   I have tried my best to stay positive through this back injury but when you don't know how fast you will heal nor have the emotional support from friends close by it really wears on you. I am learning a lot through it though. I am learning what it means to truly show love to others. I am learning never to stand on the side road when someone says they don't need help. I am learning everyone is different in how they need help and that I need to pray for ways to know how to help them even when they say no. The spirit will always in the right time inspire you to do something for them and when that time comes never let it pass by.
  I am learning that when we serve others we allow God's love to touch there soul, we allow their prayers to be answered, we allow the gospel to be seen in action through the love others share with us. I am learning to have so much more compassion for others. I never fully understand what others are going through so it is never my place to judge how they are doing with it. I have never regretted a trial I have gone through although some days I just wished for a miracle. I am learning to open my heart even when I just don't want to. When I do that I have found the comfort I was seeking for that day.
 I am learning to trust in the Lord's plan and will for me. This year as I make my new goals I am going to keep in mind that when hard time's do come that I won't let it get me down and make me feel like I failed. I am going to keep in mind the Lord's lessons he wants me to learn. This video hit home to me. It pretty much sums up this passed year. Thank you God for teaching it to me.

videos and pictures

Asher's bear crawl!

New table from grandma and grandpa Cammack! Dad showing ethan how to properly eat cereal Christmas morning.

Christmas Love

This Christmas season in all the hustle and bustle don't forget what the true meaning of Christmas is all about. Let us look to others in whatever circumstance they are in whether it be hungry, poor, grieving, dealing with a physical trial, depressed, ect. and give of of yourself in whatever way you chose. Give of your heart to the Savior that of which you have been holding back. Give of your love to others. I promise it will be the best gift you can give or receive. It is something that will be close to your heart and you will remember for years to come. I know the Lord will look down on you and smile for the service you rendered.

Authentic Thankfulness

This Thanksgiving Holiday I am feeling so grateful for the little small things the Lord has blessed me with today. Some days I have not felt that gratitude and I want more than what God has allotted me that day. Its in those times where I have learned to make the best of that day with what I have been given. Over the passed 3 months since I became aware I had injured my back I have come to realize the Lords hand more readily as I have tried to take care of my kids every day.

Here is what I have learned and I am grateful for:
1) There were multiple days I was in so much pain with my back that I dreaded putting Asher down to sleep. He is a fighter tooth and nail and I had no strength to hold him. I said a prayer asking for guidance and help and it was like Heavenly Father was speaking to me telling each step of how to get him calm and to go asleep.
2) My mother taught me since I was a child to trust the Lord in the decisions I make with my health. I prayed, and received guidance of the medical direction I needed to take. I know and understand and trust that doctors can help us but ultimately it is the Lord that can help us make the right decision. Since making this decision my back has improved although a slow process it had improved dramatically since the beginning.
3) Some days I did not know how I was going to to do my calling in Young Women's. Let alone support my husband in his new calling as Elders Quorum President. The very same week Michael got this calling I found out about my back. I don't know how I survived those nights on my own with the kids. But the Lord in his mercy calmed my kids and helped me just get through those nights. The Lord is still helping me with that.
4) Yesterday I pleaded with my doctor to let me do some form of exercise. He told me I could walk for 20 minutes and push a light stroller. I am thankful I am allowed to walk for exercising now.
5) There were days I needed a shoulder to cry on and it was like Heavenly Father knew I would need that and had planned someone to come be with me that day. I am grateful to those that have listened to the spirit and acted on those promptings. I learned specifically from one that when we provide service to others we allow God's love to touch that soul. To feel He heard my prayer and someone listened. Then when we accept of that service it was if I was accepting of God's love for me. That producing a grateful heart, a loving heart.
6) I am truly grateful for those Little Hugs and Kisses from my kids when I felt down and needed a lift.
7) I am grateful for priesthood blessings. I don't know how well I could handle life without the priesthood being a part of it.
8) Asher is better now but for quite some time he would not eat solids, which means getting up more frequently at night. My husband got up and toke care of him. That's not easy for him. But he did it for me and I am grateful to him for that.
9) I am not going to lie. I pretty much need chocolate everyday. When I feel like crud. This is my comfort food. I am grateful for chocolate.
10) I am grateful for general conference talks. They have literally carried me in my darkest hours. Recently the talk "Drawing Closer to God" 2013 by Elder Vinson has really comforted me. One quote in particular has helped me rely on the Savior during this trial:

A young boy was trying to smooth out the dirt area behind his house so he could play there with his cars. There was a large rock obstructing his work. The boy pushed and pulled with all his might, but no matter how hard he tried, the rock wouldn’t budge.

His father watched for a while, then came to his son and said, “You need to use all your strength to move a rock this large.”

The boy responded,

 “I have used all my strength!”

His father corrected him: “No you haven’t. You haven’t had my help yet!”

They then bent down together and moved the rock easily.

 The Lord really does help us when we seek Him and ask. There were days I tried doing it on my own. They were hard. They were painful both physically and spiritually. But the days I truly sought God's help, He was there for me. I have been feeling God's love for me more constantly than I have my entire life. He is aware of ours needs. He is aware of our struggles. Some days I have just wanted healing and He has given me strength to endure another day. His hands are in the details of my life. I don't see them every day but I am learning to look for them. I am learning to seek after Him. I am learning to seek His will and my purpose of what I need to accomplish on this earth. I don't know what He wants me to accomplish in the future. But today I know He just wants me to be grateful.

The Inner Child

I love my little boys. Today I find myself on a quest to find the inner child in me. So I spend probably 90% of my day playing referee to these crazy energetic balls of energy. Most of it spent trying to keep ethan from giving asher another black eye.....don't ask I am not telling you what he did. Well in my feeble attempt to keep this from happening I had ethan help me make brownies. I also put Pandora on....country music..the get down with it kind of music. So ethan is standing on the chair, stirring the brownie mix, and he is dancing. Like I am not just talking a little bounce like my husband likes to call dancing....ok actually when michael dances it looks like a flamingo bobbing his head and flapping its wings. Just don't ask him to dance in public please. Anyways ethan is getting down with it and has this huge grin on his face. All the sudden flash backs of when I was a kid and ahem...college dances came flashing through my head. I then realized I haven't been acting my true goofy self for a while now. Here is glimpse of what i was like as a child: I would burst out singing on our porch to some Broadway song I just made up and as soon as a car drove by I would act like nothing ever happened. I would dress my male dog up in girl clothes and put flowers in his hair and take pictures. That dog never bit me though. I am pretty sure I did pranks all the time because I remember one time it was my dad that put a rubber band around the nozzle of the sprayer in the kitchen sink. Well my mom turned it on and it sprayed her right in the face...and guess who was blamed for that? Me! There are some other things I did I am thinking  of but it's TMI. My family will know what I am referring to. College I really was no different. Ok I didn't sing Broadway down the side walk on Rexburg campus but I did love kareoke nights and I loved going dancing and pretty much saying the random funny things at 1 in the morning. Michael rarely stays up with me that late these days. That's when my roommates would start putting up the quote wall.

What is it about growing up that we hide that inner child in us. I am not talking about the childish behaviors but the characteristics that make up our personalities. Lately I have been dealing with a back injury. With 2 young boys this has been a really hard trial for me. I feel like when that goofy self wants to shine its ruby face I pull back into my shell like I am in survival mood. I look at others who are dealing with sicknesses that threaten there life and I see most the time they are happy even through the trial. I love seeing that example. It helps me be content with what is going on in my life no matter the difficulty. Well today I am challenging to say those things that randomly pop in my head and do that dance that makes everyone feel uncomfortable because they want to but don't have the guts to do it in public. No I am not going to embarrass myself nor I am going to act like a child. I am however going to let my personality shine. Not going to hold back because others around me are more serious or stressed out being adults. I have a strong feeling that's this is one of those things Heavenly Father wants me to do because in it I will be able to open the doors of the spirit more readily in my life. He wants us to become as a little child. Not to act like children but to be who He already knows we are. We all have different personalities for a reason. Let them shine. Let them be used to make others happy, Care for the sick,  lift up the broken hearted and on and on. So to start here is a picture of my personality. Yes they are rubber ducky and yes they are comfy. Now do you wish you had a pair?

Family Pictures!