Please watch this video first
Yes I am one of those helpless romantics that fall for good love songs. However, reading the words to this song made me think it over twice. Countless songs have been sung professing their love. Now my question is: Is it true love or just infatuation? And what is true love?
Clark Swain from his talk "The Meaning of Love" said:
"We do not always think in an accurate way about love. One of the incorrect and irrational attitudes we tend to have is that love is merely a mystical feeling, a mysterious power that takes over; and when it comes, we “fall into it,” helpless to control it. We are prone to think that it can vanish as mysteriously as it came and that we are helpless to prevent its leaving.Is that totally not what the world thinks about love, especially the media?????? Hence, the divorce rates in our country.....
He goes on to say:
Those who conclude that love cannot be defined—that there is no way to explain it and it is something we cannot understand—are those who think incorrectly about love, who think of it as a mystical feeling, a mysterious power, a trap into which one may fall. Those who think of love as it really is can define it, explain it, and understand it.So how do you define love?
In my short almost 3 years of marriage, I want to try and express what I think love is. I know I have a lot more to learn as many years go by but from what I understand now I want to share:
Loving someone, to me, is an inward commitment to give of yourself mentally, physically, and spiritually without reservation. It requires us to be "caring, respecting, responding, empathizing, having concern, giving, receiving, sharing, and forgiving." When we have a genuine concern for the others welfare, progress, and happiness, we experience a deeper committed love for each other.
This quote puts it well: (Clark Swain)
"If a person is mature in his ways of loving, then for him love is not blind. Mature love sees more, not less; but because it sees more, it is willing to see less. The mature lover is other-centered in his loving, not self-centered. He is patient and willing to prepare for a good marriage. If a man and a woman are mature in their way of loving, their love relationship will enhance their growth as individuals."
A Great Summary of how we can express our love: (please watch the video from Mormon Messages www.lds.org
We have different types of love we show to others. I mentioned my thoughts on love between couples and now I want to transition and speak on love for others around us. I love the book Tuesdays with Morrie. In it he says "Devote yourself to loving others." Along with the attributes I mentioned above about love for our spouses we have a responsibility to love like the Savior did towards our fellow men. Although I am definitely not perfect at this, as well as I am still working on loving my spouse better daily. I am have been devoting myself to achieving that goal of loving everyone. Hopefully, before I die I will be much wiser in my expressions of love towards my fellow men. Here are my thoughts and things I am currently trying to do to show my love for others:
It really is the little things we do for others that say "I Love You." A kind compliment, a phone call, a letter, a visit, going out of your way to say hello, REALLY listening to them, forgiving,saying you are sorry, and respecting them (even when our opinions clash). When things feel strained in ANY relationship, I feel it stems from selfishness and pride.
A quote from Marvin J Ashton helps me keep things in perspective:
"Real charity makes the thought of being (critical or verbally abusive) repulsive. Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don't judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is accepting someone's differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us done, or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn't handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of another's weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other."Wow I really like that quote and like I said I am working on a lot of those things as I am sure most people are. But if we really lived a charitable life like the Savior, I really think we would get so much more out of this life. That's why I love the statement Morrie said: "Devote Yourself to Loving Others." It is hard sometimes to reach out and say hi to a stranger or make friendships deeper when we are so concerned whats going on in our lives that we don't make efforts to say "I Love You" by what we do for others. Love is really an action not just a feeling. And that is how I feel about love to summarize LOVE IS AN ACTION! When we feel love in our hearts we take ACTION and when we don't feel it we TAKE ACTION UNTIL we feel it.
I guess that is why when I get upset with my husband I always start cleaning or making dinner for him. Through the service to him I find that I can talk more clearer to him and I can forgive more easily. The example of our Savior's Love really points the way how we really can treat others.
I thought this was really touching:
Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.
The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman’s yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, “Nothing, I just helped him cry.” (http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1jh1rZ/www.thingsaboutlove.com/what-does-love-mean)
My wonderful husband does so much for me even when he is clearly stressed and busy with work and school. I blogged recently about how the simple things help us to be happy....well I believe its the simple things we do for each other that express our love. I just want to share a few things my wonderful husband does for me:
1) Last week he brought me home tons of colorful, vibrant leaves he found at school. (By the way I am randomly collecting fall leaves right now)
2) He will help me with my calling....including coloring, brain storming, listening to me sing and lead, and especially the support of keeping me going when my fears overcome me. (Primary Chorister...not my strong point let me add).
3) He will give Ethan a bath like almost every time unless he is out late doing his calling.
4) He calls me on his lunch break
5) Every Friday night is family time even when homework has reached its peak
6) He will do the dishes for me any chance he can get
7) Even after a long day he will chat with me before we fall asleep like we are best friends, cause well we are
8)He gives me a kiss and hug every night after companionship prayer
9) When he is home in the mornings he will make ME breakfast (Saturday he made me an omlet before approaching a stressful day of homework)
10) He is always the first to forgive me and never will bring the subject up again.
I hope some things I mentioned will give you inspired thoughts of expressing love to your family, friends, and acquaintances. That those expression of love will become more directed and meaningful to people you hold so dear to your hearts. And that you might reach out to ALL those that may just need to feel a little more love from you personally.
